


Normal

by Whedonista93



Series: Spooky Season 2020 [10]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Firefly
Genre: Gen, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:08:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26958598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whedonista93/pseuds/Whedonista93
Summary: Mal’s the closest thing to human on his gorram ship, and even he can’t fully claim it.
Series: Spooky Season 2020 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1958881
Comments: 24
Kudos: 80





	Normal

Mal’s the closest thing to human on his gorram ship, and even he can’t fully claim it. He wishes he could be surprised, but… ain’t like he had a normal upbringing. His mama told him never to expect normal, but his crew has exceeded expectations.

It took him about 2.5 seconds after meeting Zoe during the war to figure out she was a Slayer.

_Mal leans against the rock face where he’s cornered and rolls his eyes. “Leave it to the Alliance to recruit gorram vampires. Don’t know why I even half expected ‘em to fight fair.”_

_The nearest vampire grins. “Don’t meet many humans these days that know what we are.”_

_Mal tucks his thumbs into his belt loops. “It’s cute that you think I’m human.”_

_That seems to give the vampire pause. One of them shrugs. “Still gonna kill you.”_

_Pause is all he needs, though. “You can try, but now there’s a Slayer behind you.”_

_The vampires spin and are subsequently slaughtered._

_Mal grins. “What’s your name, soldier?”_

Wash is a minor hell deity who got bored of his own realm.

_“He’s a demon, sir,” Zoe points out._

_Mal shrugs. “We’ve made nice with demons before.”_

_“But having one on our boat, sir?”_

_“I mean you no harm,” Wash says. He tilts his head. “But how did you call demon?”_

_Mal points at Zoe. “Slayer.”_

_Wash grins. “Nifty.”_

_“Give me one good reason not to kill you,” Zoe deadpans._

_“Look… I don’t like my dimension. Yours is more fun. Why would I hurt the humans that make the fun?”_

Jayne took longer to figure out.

_“He feels funny,” Zoe tells Mal the night after Jayne comes aboard._

_“Vamp?” Mal asks._

_Zoe shakes her head. “Doesn’t feel like a vamp… something else.”_

_Jayne is with them for a month before a job goes bad - a miracle in and of itself - and Jayne loses his gun and Mal and Zoe get pinned. Between one blink and the next, Jayne’s skin ripples and a giant, snarling dog stands in his place._

_“So, shifter,” Mal muses in the aftermath._

_Jayne blinks. “Ya ain’t gonna kick me out the airlock for bein’ a freak?”_

_Mal snorts. “Welcome to the freakshow.”_

Kaylee is the cheeriest damn vampire Mal has ever met in his life.

_“You ain’t ever killed a thing in your life, have you, Kaylee girl?” Jayne asks about a week after she comes on board._

_Kaylee shakes her head. “Nah. Leastaways I ain’t ever killed a human. I’ve been alive too long not to have killed anything at all.”_

_“How old are you, exactly?” Zoe asks, honestly curious._

_Kaylee scowls mockingly. “If anyone else had asked, I could make a comment about it bein’ rude to ask a lady’s age.”_

_Zoe shrugs unapologetically._

_“I was born on Earth-that-Was,” Kaylee admits quietly._

_Mal’s jaw drops. “You been around that long, and ain’t ever offed anyone? How in the gorram hell do you even live?”_

_Kaylee blushes and shrugs. “My family… they were descended from gypsies. Knew an old spell. Restored my soul as soon as I was turned. I’ve survived on pig and cow blood as long as I’ve been a vampire. It’s easier out here in the Black, you know… other stars don’t fry us like Earth’s sun did.”_

As for Mal himself… well, he doesn’t think any of his crew quite knows what he is.

_Kaylee drops into the co-pilot’s chair late in the ship’s night cycle, when Mal is flying and it’s quiet. “Any of ‘em know you’re about as old as me?”_

_Mal huffs. “No, I don’t think so.”_

_Kaylee tilts her head. “What are you, exactly?”_

_“You know, darlin’... I don’t reckon I’ve ever answered that question direct-like.”_

_Kaylee grins. “You gonna tell me?”_

_Mal smirks. “My mama was one of the last Called Slayers, and my daddy was a vampire with a soul…”_


End file.
